Visions of Hope & Fear

The daughters (3 & 6) put on their first surprise drama for me today. As I walked in the front door, Claire (6yrs) – ready and waiting – glided out of nowhere, floating across the room, clothed in her fancy bridesmaid dress, and proceeded to spread fake petals all over the floor. I waited, knowing the explanation would come..

Claire: <spreading arms abroad> This is a forest. And these <pointing to petals strewn across floor> are its flowers.

We have a play for you. Please sit down.

I am a princess. She <pointing to Annalise (3yrs)> is a dragon.

Annalise (3yrs): <big smile, looking somewhat befuddled but pleasantly content in that befuddlement, ready to take orders from Claire, the director and main actress extraordinaire> I’m a dragon, and this is my dragon <points to stuffed dragon she is dragging around as a companion>.

Me: Oh. Wow! Okay. <confused, amused, and honestly, really proud and excited inside, and grateful>

The play included at least 5 or 6 scene changes, and yes, was slow at parts, transitions and story arch a bit confusing, but wonderful nevertheless, and delivered with enormous verve and seriousness.

I’ll take it.

Sometimes my daughters let me sleep in, while they get themselves breakfast (and make a mess in the process), and then, as I slowly wake up, I overhear strange conversations between them at the breakfast table. This one’s from this morning:

Annalise (3yrs): <laughing to herself about something, probably a game she’s found to play with her fingers, or a story she’s telling herself in her head>

Claire (6yrs): <Doesn’t understand why Annalise can be so happy sometimes, and hence, feels a little threatened by it> Annalise, are you afraid of ANYTHING?

Annalise: <answers with complete confidence> No.

Claire: Are you even afraid of GOD?

Annalise: No. I love God.

Claire: <takes on an authoritative, teacherly, and you’re-in-trouble voice> Annalise, did you know the Bible says you’re supposed to be afraid of God? That means you’re BAD.

Annalise: What? Why should I be afraid of God? <worried tone>

Claire: <lowers her voice, making it sound ominous> He could make the entire world DISAPPEAR if He wanted to. That’s why!

Annalise: <begins to cry>

Claire: That’s why you can’t just be happy all the time. <satisfied>

Annalise: <still crying, runs to my room, jumps in bed, cuddles up close with worried expression on her face, and looks into my eyes> Mommy, Claire says God’s BAD. But…..   ! <cries more>

Me: Oh, sweet girl! God’s not bad. He loves you so much! <now I’m feeling frustrated with Claire, because I know she knows what “fear of God” really means, and that she’s twisted the meaning to make Annalise afraid>

Then a long, but important, theological discussion transpires, with Annalise first, and then Claire, about God. About what the different meanings of “fear of God” might be, and which ones make sense for a loving God. Thus, the day begins.

After picking up Claire from arboretum camp:

Me: So did you have fun today, sweet girl?

Claire (6yrs): …..Uh…..kind of…

Me: Awe, what wasn’t so great about it?

Claire: A boy in my class said some mean things to me….

It ….. it hurt my heart.

Me: Oh no! I’m so sorry! Did you tell him to stop?

Claire: Yeah, but it didn’t help.

Me: Did you say something to your teacher? She could help, you know.

Claire: [shakes head stubbornly] I just want to tell my mommy.

Me: Awe, sweet girl, I’m glad you did. I can’t do much when I’m not there.

Claire: I know. But you still make it all better.

Me: [sigh] What did the little boy say?

Claire: [withdraws and grimaces] I don’t want to say it. [sighs and looks out window]

Me: Awe, okay. You sure?

Claire: [gets heated and semi-philosophical] Yes. You know why? If I say his words again out loud, I’ll remember them more, and they’ll eat away at me, and eat away at me, and pretty soon, I won’t be able to forget them until the day I die. [Huff! Fold arms across chest, resolute]

Me: Man, fair enough.

From our conversation during the car-ride home:

Claire (6yrs): <enraged, nostrils flaring, voice raised> Mom, you know what’s NOT FAIR about boys and girls?!!

Me: <oh no, did some boy tell her today that girls can’t love dragons?> What, sweet girl?

Claire: Girls can wear BOTH dresses and pants, but boys can wear ONLY pants. That’s just not fair! What if boys want to wear dresses? It makes me so mad.

Me: Huh, yeah, …. huh….

Claire: I mean, who made up that stupid rule? I’m sure originally girls AND boys were allowed to wear dresses, and the boys probably looked very pretty.

Me: Originally?

Claire: Of course! The old philosophers wore dresses … Plato and Aristotle …. and Jesus did …. you know those robes. And the medieval knights had skirts sometimes. Who decided to be unfair to boys and change things?

Me: I …. I’m not sure. It does seem kind of silly.

Claire: <starting to sound like she’s speaking from a political platform, rallying the troops, hands gesturing wildly> Someone should tell the government! And announce it in the towns! More people need to think about this! Ugh, it’s just NOT FAIR!

Me: For sure! Yes! <why not? She’s got a point about Plato, Aristotle, and Jesus…>

Claire: <calming down a bit> Well, at least one thing IS fair.

Me: Oh yeah? What’s that?

Claire: Boys are allowed to pick ANY  color as their favorite color. Even pink. I saw a boy wearing a pink shirt today, and he looked very nice.

O_o

Claire (6yrs): Mom, my birthday is coming up.

Me: Yup.

Claire: And it might be time for you to start visiting toy stores. You know, to scope them out. For me.

Me: Uh huh. Mental note taken.

Claire: Because, you see, picking out the right gifts for a growing girl is a serious matter.

Me: Oh yeah? Might I need your help?

Claire: Possibly so. There IS something I’ve wanted for ever SO LONG.

Me: And what is that?

Claire: A bow and arrow set.

Me: Huh. That actually sounds really fun.

Claire: I just CAN’T dress up like a princess and not have the proper equipment to fight. I need to be a FIGHTING PRINCESS. To protect people.

O_O